Yesterday at Elevation App State we were honored to listen live to the third week of Greater from Pastor Steven Furtick. What a message. I think this third week was the most powerful for me, it really spoke to the condition of my dreams and hopes at this point in my life.
The main take-away was that you cannot experience the miracle of resurrection without death first. Sometimes God has to let our dreams die so we can experience the miracle of it being resurrected. Sometimes God births our dreams in our life and lets them live on. But sometimes He want us to know Him as more than the bringer of dreams. He wants us to know Him as the one who can resurrect a dream we thought would never live again. And sometimes He chooses one we have tucked away so deep, we've forgotten about it entirely because it's too disappointing.
I can SERIOUSLY relate to this. Over the past year, I have come so close to a few dreams being realized, only to have them fade away or even be crushed. I was so excited about continuing on into grad school at App for counseling. I had competitive GRE scores and such a desire to go. I had prayed and felt lead to apply to grad school. I kept reminding myself that just because God wanted me to apply didn't mean that I would get it, but I didn't fully take into account that He might actually lead me to apply and then I wouldn't get in. I mean, God so clearly said "Yes, take the GRE, apply to App." that I couldn't help but think that must mean I was meant to get in. Why spend $200 on taking the GRE and applying, why get me all excited if that's not what I'm meant to do? Because sometimes dreams have to die. Sometimes you have to say goodbye to something good for something greater. Needless to say if you know me, I did not get accepted into grad school. And I was crushed. I mourned for about three days. It was just such a shock - I'd never had such a big "NO" in my life.
At this point in the story, I can't give you a resurrection story about my dream. I still want to pursue a graduate degree in counseling. Sometimes it still hurts that I'm not. My landlord got into both degree programs I applied to. I have a really great friend who is few semesters ahead of me - he gets his first clients this week. I'm excited for the both of them, but I still wish I was in their shoes. Grad school would put me one step closer to my ultimate dream. And like I said, it hurts that I'm not on that path right now.
I'm still not sure what path I'm heading down. I trust that the Lord has me going in the direction I need to go. I honestly do. I have no clue where I'm going, or even the next step. But I'm trusting in Him. He may resurrect my graduate degree dream - I do get to reapply for free for fall 2013. But He may take me down a GREATER path than I can imagine.
I strongly encourage you to watch the third week of Greater - Upon Further Review - when you get the oppurtunity. As of this morning (9/24 - 8:30am) it's not up, but should be by this afternoon.
http://www.elevationchurch.org/sermons
