Morning Rituals

I really enjoy my morning rituals for getting ready. If I get up to late or something comes up that throws off my routine, I'm not really a happy camper and just feel off for the rest of the day. I probably enjoy getting ready in the morning more than I should, haha.

My morning ritual starts with a shower. From there I start applying the lotions - body lotion and face lotion. Then I apply this oil to my hair to keep it protected from the hairdryer and the elements. After getting dressed, the fun begins. I usually grab a cup of coffee or hot tea and return to the bathroom to start in on my make-up. I think part of the fun and enjoyment comes from the little girl inside who loves to play dress up and who wants to play at being someone new. I don't think any girl ever loses the little girl inside. I love watching how my face changes as I apply eyeliner, then carefully (or more often, lazily) choose an eyeshadow color. Some days, like today, I get really into it and get to shading and highlighting all around my eyes. Next comes the foundation to cover the redness in my cheeks or scars from teenage years of acne. Top it off with a little mascara, and on occasion a little hair spray for hold. I love that I can highlight want I want to highlight and hide what I want to hide.  Some days I look like a slightly enhanced version of myself. There are a few where I feel like a different person.

I find that the closer to my true self that I look, the more I enjoy the look. I almost always default to a natural look. I'm not saying that I think I need makeup to be pretty. I think I'm beautiful with or without it, but I enjoy being able to bring out attention to the things I want attention drawn to. I like that I can hide what I don't want people to see.

That's all well and good when it comes to make up, but there are so many other things in my life that I do the same thing with. That's when it gets dangerous. When I start to alter my true self and put on a mask of perfection. I want people to think I have it together. I want them to think I'm a good little girl and that my life is all flowers and horses and dancing fun. I carefully line up my mask every morning before class, and even every Sunday before Elevation. If you ask me how I am, it is likely I'm going to give you a half truth. I am going to pick a highlight of the week to share. Or I'll pick a small problem, like being worn out, to share. I do not want people to see behind the mask on the days that I'm falling apart. I don't want you to think I can't hold it together. I don't want you to think I'm not strong.

At the same time, I hate it that I have friends who don't know what is really going on in my life. I am so blessed to have my wonderful eGroup and some great friends who know how to cut the crap. Just seeing them takes the mask down. But I'm tired of myself and everyone else putting up these fronts of perfection and peace. I think we should all bear our hearts to one another a little more. I think we'll find more support and love than we ever imagined. I think we'll also discover that the Lord has granted us more strength than we ever thought.